We fall in love and love as long as we live. We are looking for something definite in love and we want to find it. Today, in our column "What troubles you in love?" life coach and matchmaker Eva Kuleva advises our reader how to find what she is looking for in terms of love.
Question: We have known each other for 23 years, sometimes together, sometimes apart, because of his drunkenness. Now he sought me out, we dated for 2-3 weeks and we enjoy it, but he started to leave me, he doesn't want me, he makes excuses that he can't do it anymore (he is 71 years old). He only wants to see each other from time to time, without commitments. This is not enough for me. He says he loves me. He has two children and grandchildren. I am 62 years old, I have 1 child and a grandchild.We are both single but he also claims there has been no one else, I haven't met anyone else either.
Eva Kuleva: What is your question? What to do? And what does "there hasn't been another, I haven't met another either" mean? You both have children and grandchildren from other partners, right? You probably mean that since you've known each other, for the past 23 years, you haven't had any other partners.
I get the feeling you don't believe you deserve and can have a fulfilling relationship. After so many years of dealing with a man who is a drunkard who comes in and out of your life… Apparently this man can't offer you what you want.
If I were you, I'd see him as long as I'm comfortable. And at the same time I would date other potential partners. No intimacy until you choose one who can offer you what you want.
If the relationship with this man creates more unpleasant emotions and experiences for you than pleasant ones, stop seeing him.
But first, work on your self-esteem and the belief that you deserve and can have a partner with whom you are together, respect each other, trust each other, love each other, do not have heavy addictions and whatever else is important to you.