Living with a teenager under the same roof can be a real test for any loving parent. And the funniest thing is how everyone thinks they will handle their rambunctious teenager better than their family and friends. Gooooolly delusion.
Puberty is a serious process that is a challenge for both parents and teenagers themselves. Body changes, hormonal spikes, mood swings, confrontations with authority are all things that every teenager goes through. Some go through puberty relatively easily, without major dramas, but for other children it is a very difficult period.
If you also have a child at home who is at the age of puberty or approaching those worrying years, it is good to prepare yourself with certain rules regarding your coexistence.
Be aware of what awaits you and you will get through this ordeal called adolescence more easily together.
1. Don't underestimate their feelings and experiences
Even if some of your teen's reactions seem childish, naive, and light-hearted, stop yourself before criticizing seriously. Remember your own infantileness when you were in puberty. Do yourself a favor and step into their shoes. They will appreciate your efforts, rest assured.
2. Set rules that apply to all teenagers at home, regardless of their gender
One of the big problems that teenagers face is that their parents are double standards in the family, especially when it comes to the gender of the children.For boys something is allowed that for girls is not, and vice versa. This frustrates children, causing them to resent not only you, but also their sibling. Don't let it happen. Try to make the rules at home apply to everyone without discrimination.
3. Negotiate the evening time, don't just set a final time
What makes teenagers very angry is the evening class. It's normal, we were their age too, we wanted to stay up late with friends, have fun. Do not be too strict in this regard, do not repeat the mistakes of your parents. Coordinate the evening time according to the event your teen wants to go to. It's one thing to walk around the neighborhood with friends and set an early time to get home, it's quite another if he's invited to a friend's birthday party. It is normal for it to stay longer than usual. This gesture of yours will be appreciated, rest assured.
4. Include them in household chores
Some parents take the position that children's place is not in the kitchen to serve or wash dishes, and do not assign them such tasks. But their help is welcome both for your own relief and for their growth as responsible individuals.
5. Give them a chance to express themselves
This doesn't mean they paint the walls of their room in gothic scenes, but you also shouldn't forbid them to totally express their personality at home. Find a way that works for both sides and allows your adolescent to show what excites them in the moment and express it freely.
6. Trust your gut about your child's friends
You have the life experience to help you evaluate the right friendships for your children. This does not mean, however, to completely forbid them from being friends with certain children, but rather to control the relationships and monitor their development.Do not over-trust your child, he does not yet have built-in mechanisms to evaluate which friendship can negatively affect him. But don't be adamant, because that way you will frustrate the child and push him to do some things against you.
7. Keep in good contact with their teachers
Our children spend between 7 and 10 hours a day at school. It is a serious time part of their life and it inevitably shapes them as individuals. To be aware of what is happening and to be able to prevent dangerous situations in time, try to be in contact with the child's teachers.
8. Participate in their interests and hobbies
To bond with your perpetually angry and angry teenager at home, take the opportunity to show interest in his hobbies. Explore how to actively participate in one of his/her interests. Even if you don't like the music he listens to, for example, ask him about it, what he likes, why he listens to it, how his favorite band was formed.Don't ignore their interests just because they don't match yours. Show respect to get it back.
9. Don't fix all their mistakes
When your teen makes a mistake, let him take responsibility for it, don't try to cover it up or solve everything for him. The better response is to give him advice on how to deal with the problematic situation rather than solving it for him. This will only bring you negatives in the future and even if you help him in the present moment, you are not doing him any good.
10. Be honest with them
Kids have lie radar and hate deception. Try to talk to them honestly and truthfully. If the topics that come up or your problems feel awkward to explain in front of them, consider a gentle way to talk. But don't lie, because they sense and this action of yours will turn against you very quickly in the form of anger and even hatred on their part.