When it comes to toxic behavior and toxic people, you can probably immediately give an example from your environment of such a person. A colleague, a friend, a close family member, sometimes even a partner are some of the examples that come to mind when you have to name a toxic person. These people make you feel bad, confuse you, make you unhappy, hinder your self-cultivation, even sometimes lower your self-esteem through words and actions.
But have you considered that you too exhibit toxic behavior? Surely your first reaction is to deny it. No one would readily admit to themselves that they are exhibiting toxic behavior, but that is exactly what they are.Anyone at some point can come off as a toxic person or exhibit toxic behavior towards someone, but from their own perspective, they're unlikely to see it that way.
However, the manifestation of toxic behavior is much easier than you think. This is the opinion of psychologist Dr. Daryl Appleton, who told lovetoknow.com that toxic behaviors can occur in any person without them always being aware of it. We tend to see this behavior in others, but not register it in ourselves to stop it. And even though we don't want them to behave this way with us, we also behave toxically with others in certain situations. From our own perspective, however, we do not define our actions and words as toxic, which is a peculiar phenomenon.
What are the three types of toxic behavior that everyone exhibits at some point?
1. You are being reprehensible
We don't want to be judged, but we judge.This is such a common behavior. There is perhaps no other type of toxic behavior that is more common than judgmentalism. To protect our own attitudes and actions, we constantly compare ourselves to others. When we disagree, we judge them. We talk about what they say or do, judging them and convincing ourselves, them, or a third person how wrong they are. We condemn, we try to correct and change people, we make strict interpretations, we make statements that belittle someone's successes in or outside of work, we denigrate someone or someone's behavior without hearing all sides. These are just some of the signs that we are behaving judgmentally towards someone in a given situation.
2. Ignoring difficult situations
Choosing how to react in difficult situations is telling. If you run away from difficulties, wait for things to fix themselves, or wait for someone else to fix them for you, this is a type of toxic behavior that indicates that you are avoiding difficult moments in life and relationships with people.Perhaps you also have difficulties in communication, in coping, in making decisions. This toxic behavior affects both you and those around you.
How do you show that you are running away from difficulties? By withdrawing from difficult situations or difficult conversations without speaking your mind. You prefer to shut up and wait for the storm to pass rather than take action, even if it's difficult. Another indicator is when you respond with toxic feigned positivity as if nothing happened. Instead of participating in the conversation and solving the problem, you prefer to act in a passive-aggressive way, pretending that nothing serious happened.
3. You burden others with your problems or pressurize them for something
Putting pressure on another person is a type of toxic behavior that you probably don't realize. When you demand something from someone and make it pushy, judgmental, make them make choices in your favor, these are all examples of toxic behavior.For example, if you pressure your partner to choose between you and his job, or accept your desire to move in together without him being ready, to have children, these are toxic behaviors.
Constantly complaining, burdening others with your own problems, talking about your failures, your failure, are also types of behavior that are toxic to others and probably draining to you.