When you first walk down the path of marriage, people will give you all kinds of advice like "don't go to bed angry", "remember you are a team", "compromise or you won't be happy". In the "honeymoon" stage where you are still in love, you probably won't need these tips. You'll need them later, when the passion and love settle down and turn into affection, accompanied by a bunch of obligations and conditions.
With the ever-increasing number of divorces, we can't help but wonder how long married couples manage to keep their happiness and marriage alive. What are they doing differently to be able to keep the promise "until death do us part"?
Here are the answers from themselves. Long-married couples share their love secrets with bestlifeonline.com.
Let your partner know you're thinking about them throughout the day
“If you want your partner and you to feel wanted, loved and important to each other, remind them of that throughout the day. Text each other or talk quickly on the phone. You don't have to send each other love letters if you don't feel like it. It is enough to show your loved one that you are thinking about them. Just ask him something or share a moment from your day that impressed you.” – Beverly Palmer, psychology professor, married for 50 years.
“Learn how to compromise”
“Compromises are an invariable part of marriage. They are necessary because without them everyone will insist on doing things their way without caring about the feelings and opinions of others. And you shouldn't just compromise and swallow things that are extremely unpleasant to you. It's important to learn how to make these compromises so that you neither hurt yourself and hurt your feelings nor hurt your partner. Your partner must learn to do the same.” – Anna Polante, married to her husband Aniello for 58 years.
“Be physically attached to each other”
“Making your partner feel wanted is far more valuable than listening and trying to satisfy their needs. Physical giving is very important, but emotional giving carries more weight in the long run.” – Sheila Rechtschafer, married for 56 years.
And end the evening with a positive emotion
“Before you go to bed and turn off the lights, create a positive atmosphere. Joke, laugh to diffuse the disagreements that just a moment ago caused an argument between you. Don't dwell on problems right before bed," adds Bert, Sheila's husband.
“Enjoy your company”
“Work, social commitments, family ties and relationships – they all compete for your time and attention. Don't neglect your husband or wife because of them. Make time for company just the two of you. One of the most important things in marriage is enjoying the things you do together.” – Tom Wilbur, married for 49 years.
Keep friendship in your relationship
“As your relationship progresses, remember to stay friends and maintain your friendship. The most successful relationships are those in which friendship and love coexist together. When you are both friends and partners in love, problems seem easier to solve.” – Barbara Adoff, married for 47 years.
“Turn everything into a date”
“Every pleasant moment in your life can become a meeting with which you can strengthen your relationship even more. You don't have to plan it, you just have to seize the moment. Whenever you're together, doing something or going somewhere, treat your time together like a date," says Barbara's husband Bill