If your child is one of the naughty ones who plucks, hits and spits,then the tips we are going to offer you would be useful for you. Dealing with this problem is not at all an easy task, especially when it comes to a very young child who barely utters a few words, and understanding moral values is still too impossible.
Aggressive behavior should in no case be neglected. Immediate reaction is of utmost importance from the first manifestations, regardless of the age at which they started. Try to control your anger at such times and try to follow the following tips to deal with the frustrating situation:
Use sign language. If your child hasn't spoken yet, he won't understand exactly what you're saying. Speaking and learning will be needed at a later stage of development. Instead, try to build up a set of gestures to perform every time the troublemaker allows himself to show aggression. A wave of a finger or an upstretched palm accompanied by a serious and angry expression would be appropriate in such a situation to send the message - "Don't do that again!".
The next time the angry person reaches out to you, take his hands and explain to him,(if you agree with the situation in the particular case) that no matter how angry he is and even if he has a right to be angry, hitting is not a solution by any means! The child must understand that fighting cannot and should not be a means of expressing anger and a way to deal with a problematic situation.
Don't try to discuss the problem with your toddler Even asking him if he will feel bad if someone hits him like that won't move him. Young children have not yet developed the sense of empathy that adults have, so using such associations will not help.
Rather, build a system of punishments that include the mechanism of deterring aggression, by depriving the child of some good, not drastic, of course! You have to be very careful not to cross the line of damaging the child's self-esteem. For example, if he hits the other child for a toy - he loses the toy, or - if he spits on the children on the playground, he goes home.
For the smallest miscreants use booksto serve as an example of good behavior. If the book is about learning about body parts, you can use this fact to draw the child's attention to the fact that teeth are for eating, not biting, and hands are for grasping, not hitting, the mouth is for talking, not spitting and whatever else you can think of.
Very carefully examine what are the mechanisms that trigger your child's aggression. Monitor whether, for example, he gets angry when his little brother takes his toys or when too many children surround him on the playground. Try to avoid these situations or if possible - prepare him to get used to the thought of overcoming such situations.
Instead of telling the child what he CANNOT do, it is better to pay attention to him what he is allowed to do For example, explain to him, that instead of hitting his little brother or sister when he gets angry, he can fold his arms around himself and cuddle until he's fed up. This is a useful practice that you can practice when the child is not aggressive. Try to make him understand the importance of respecting others and himself through this exercise.
Remember to encourage your child every time he/she does not behave aggressively. In this way, it will understand that aggressive behavior is unacceptable.
If your child is older, try calming techniques such as deep breathing, for example. Sit with him, explain to him that you also get angry sometimes. To get rid of anger, you do some breathing and calming exercises. To make the activity even more interesting, you can show the child the appropriate yoga pose in a sitting position on the floor, touching the toes with your hands.
Be the best role model you can! This is perhaps the most important. No matter how angry you are at something or someone, keep your composure. At least in front of the child, try to contain your negative emotions. Screams and sudden movements are especially fatal for children's psyche.
Don't force the child to apologize. It is important to make him understand that apologizing is not a sign of weakness or submission, but that it is a way of expressing regret from rude words or actions said. Let him only understand the importance of the gesture of apology.
