Would you like to change your life and gain amazing confidence? The good news is that it is possible. Because no matter how much or how little confidence you have, you can always boost it.
It is a myth that most people are confident in themselves. In fact, many say they would like to have higher self-esteem. Those people who outwardly seem confident in themselves very often actually feel nervous. Self-esteem is not something we are born with or without. It is not one of those "have-it-or-have-not" characteristics of man that we are bound to throughout our lives. We are all capable of becoming more confident. We can nurture and develop our self-esteem at any age by adopting a new type of behavior or strategy. To do this, you just need to spend a few minutes a day with the tests, tasks and tools presented in Dr. Rob Young's book.
Dr. Rob Young - psychologist and instructor - is a recognized authority on the psychology of high performance. He trains people from various fields: from business leaders and athletes to media personalities and musicians. He uses personality tests to help his clients make the most of their strengths, overcome their weaknesses, and achieve greater results. He is an expert sought after by television programs ranging from CNN and ITN news to Big Brother and the BBC's Working Lunch. He holds two scientific degrees in psychology. He holds a PhD in exercise and sport psychology with a major focus on motivation and peak performance.
Contents
Part One
To develop confidence for life
01 Self-esteem and you
02 How to Develop Unshakable Faith
03 How to act confident
04 How to set confident goals
05 How to utilize your resources
06 How to confidently deal with difficulties
07 How to create a confident future for yourself
Part Two
Confidence when you need it
08 Confident Public Speaking and Presentations
09 Confident Conversations and Communication
10 Confidence when dating the opposite sex
11 Confidence in business meetings and making business contacts
12 Confident Job Interview
13 Confident Life Change
14 Handling Conflicts Confidently
15 Self-esteem for good he alth, fitness and body
16 Quick Confidence
Introduction
Perhaps you need more confidence in a certain situation, such as when speaking in front of a large audience or facing colleagues, asking someone out on a date, taking an exam or appearing for a job interview. Maybe you're recovering from a difficult personal breakup, or you're worried about the state of the world we live in. And you may dream of more confidence in several different areas of life. You may be only slightly worried about some situations, and you may be shaken by inner doubts and paralyzing fears. Whether for the boardroom or the bedroom, this book offers a we alth of easy-to-apply techniques and exercises that will boost your self-esteem and help you get the most out of life.
This is effective!
To help you bring out your best and most confident sides, I've filled this book with tricks, tips, and scientifically proven exercises. I have drawn the best from the fields of cognitive behavioral therapy, sports psychology, neuro-linguistic programming and positive psychology. Some of them are so innovatively sharpened that they would cut your fingers as you unfold the pages. Don't worry about it sounding so boastful - take it on faith that I'm a trained psychologist and have scoured the academic world and the world of business and leadership to bring you only material that will have an impact.
And that's because over the years I've experienced disappointments that self-esteem books just don't work. I'm afraid it's about con men, charlatans and self-styled life mentors who fill us with stuffy and superficial ideas that don't leave a lasting impression on self-esteem. Sure, some of their techniques may satisfy you for days or even weeks – but do they provide you with lasting benefit? No. Well, this book is different.
Note the presence of one-time "Take Action" exercises as well as "Self-Esteem Boosting" techniques sprinkled throughout the book that you'll want to use over and over again. And by applying them, you'll learn not only how to project a more confident self-image, but also how to change the way you think and feel about yourself and the world. And the result? You will build a well-rounded and long-lasting self-confidence that will help you deal with almost anything life throws at you. If you trust Dr. Rob, he will not let you down.
Personal Story
I wholeheartedly believe that self-esteem is built. And here I speak not only as a psychologist, but also as a person who has suffered from paralyzing fears. When I was younger, I used to get so freaked out when I got in front of an audience of even just a few people that I felt physically sick-I literally felt like I was going to throw up at any moment. I was so scared that I pretended to be sick just to avoid such situations. But I have long since trained myself to enjoy lecturing in front of hundreds of assembled people. And since I sometimes also appear on television, in programs such as shows on BBC or news on CNN, now I feel the greatest pleasure when I am live under the spotlight in front of millions of viewers.
But I wouldn't say I'm anything special. I'm just an ordinary person who has suffered from a lack of self-esteem in the past, but has implemented some methods to boost it. My message is: if I can, so can you.
Engage
Using this book, you will learn to quickly raise your self-confidence. No matter what state of mind you are in, I guarantee that if you decide to invest a few minutes a day in the remedies outlined in this book, they will act like a steroid injection for your self-esteem. Almost immediately you will feel relaxation and a surge of energy. And in the long run, you will develop such an unbreakable and hardened self-confidence that you will be able to handle almost anything in life.
BUT - here's the "but" - to get the most out of this book, you can't just read it and throw it away. You have to do the exercises and use the methods. This book can transform your self-esteem and help you achieve a more fulfilling and successful life.
But only if you work for it. A football coach trains and advises his team, but ultimately he has to trust the players who act on the field. So think of me as your trusted coach. It is my duty to offer you the latest scientifically proven methods and exercises. But you are the ones who will take the football field of life.
Feel free to go through this book at your own pace. Whether you would prefer to take it in a flash, in one breath, take the journey more leisurely or click back and forth from head to head - the choice is yours. But reading and appreciating how the ideas in the book can apply to people is not at all the same as applying them to your own life. So be sure to do the fun interactive activities and exercises. You have to think, write down, act.
Recognizing principles is not the same as using them. So once you get to an exercise, please complete it before continuing. Every time you learn a new technique, take the time to incorporate it into your daily routine. The more involved this book is in your life, the more often you quote from it, take notes in the margins, mark passages that make an impression on you, and jot down ways you'll want to keep trying later, the more confident you'll be. you feel Don't just read - engage!
Self-esteem for life and pressing needs
I have divided this book into two parts. The first sets you on a path that will build you a self-confidence that will last you a lifetime. You'll find out how to boost your self-esteem, no matter how low it is right now. You will go through a series of exercises that will open your eyes to the unsuspected potential and personal resources you possess. You'll learn some tricks applicable in any situation that will not only make you look more confident, but also give you an inner confidence about it.
The second part is different because it deals in more detail with common life situations that people find threatening. Here I offer practical advice on 8 specific topics:
– How to Improve Your Presentations and Lectures (Chapter 8 on page 189)
– How to communicate, meet new people, and become a confident conversationalist (Chapter 9 on page 201)
– How to Ask Someone Out and Confidently Ask on a Date (Chapter 10 on page 211)
– How to become more effective in meetings and making business contacts, eg at conferences (Chapter 11 on page 221)
– How to Perform Successfully in a Job Interview by Preparing Well and Calming Your Nerves (Chapter 12 on page 229)
– How to make a practical change in your life (can include anything from getting out of a problem situation to starting your own business) (Chapter 13 on page 239)
– How to learn to handle conflict situations firmly, yet non-aggressively (Chapter 14 on page 247)
– How to Improve Your He alth, Fitness, and Body Confidence (Chapter 15 on page 255)
– The second part ends with Chapter 16, which looks at achieving “Fast Self-Confidence (pg. 265) In this final chapter, I give you tools and techniques to overcome anxiety and inspire confidence in the quickest possible time way. Feel free to skip ahead if some of these topics catch your attention.
Let's get started
I wish you luck, but that's not what you need. Your destiny is entirely in your own hands. Success depends only on your determination to use the tools in this book. Do the work and you will gain confidence. Things are really simple. So enjoy this book and email me via www.robyeung.com to share your success with me.
Well, okay, are you ready to begin? Let's take the path that will sculpt your new self.
Dr. Rob Young
In this chapter you will…
– learn what self-confidence is and what it allows you to achieve;
– understand that you can control your life no matter what is happening around you in the present moment;
– discover how thoughts and behaviors affect your own sense of self;
– measure your level of confidence and you will uncover those parts of your life that most need change.
So what comes to mind when we talk about self-esteem? Maybe you think self-confidence is in the way we carry ourselves? Think about the confident people you know, and maybe you picture them smiling and laughing, smoothly giving speeches in front of people, or performing impeccably at a job interview. Or you see them mingling with strangers as if swimming in their own waters and effortlessly becoming the center of attention.
But how we look from the outside is only one part of self-esteem. Most of the material that forms it is what it allows you to achieve. Because there are people of silent confidence - they don't draw attention to themselves, but they manage to conquer life's challenges and take everything they deserve.
And self-esteem rests above all on this - to allow us to achieve our goals. Because people with self-confidence:
– embrace new opportunities;
– cope with difficulties and shake off disappointments easily;
– make decisions in unfamiliar situations when problems and opportunities open up – accept them as challenges to go through and overcome, not as a threat to hide from;
– take responsibility for bringing about change rather than hoping that circumstances or people around them will change themselves;
– sometimes experience anxiety, worry or fear, but regardless move forward to achieve their long-term goals;
– are goal-oriented and set both near and far goals to pursue what they want out of life.
Interested? Does anything here sound appealing to you? As you can see from this list, self-esteem doesn't always have to do with how we feel inside. Yes, people with self-esteem can feel confident and happy with themselves. But in certain cases they also experience fears or get out of control. Even they sometimes worry about important projects at work or troubles in their personal lives. The difference between the self-confident and the less self-confident is not how much one and the other feel fear or anxiety, but to what extent they withstand these feelings and cope with the situation regardless of them.
Okay, we've figured out what makes people confident - and that includes yourself. But what exactly is she? And how to get more of her.
Confidence is about action
Let's define self-confidence. I would say it is "the ability to take appropriate and effective action, however great the challenge may seem at the moment", Confidence is not the absence of fear; it is the ability to take action regardless of how we feel, knowing that action will at some point help us control our feelings. Self-confidence is doing what is necessary in the short term to achieve our long-term goals, even though the necessary action of the moment causes us a temporary feeling of discomfort.
Of course, some task or situation may seem threatening to you. But gaining self-confidence means learning to deal with these feelings so that we can achieve our long-term goals. Let's say you are worried about an exam or a job interview; however, you will show up because your goal is to succeed in life. If you're nervous about public speaking, you'll grit your teeth and do it because it will help your career. If you are nervous about meeting strangers, afraid of rejection, unable to assert yourself, unsure of how to start or end a relationship or any other endeavor, you will inevitably learn to cope because this would contribute to your long-term happiness.
If you feel nervous at times, you are not alone; you are actually in wonderful company. I think it's safe to assume that most people sometimes shake with nerves or have a real fear of the tasks they have to deal with. The secret is that you shouldn't let your feelings get the best of you and get in the way of your actions. You must act nevertheless.
A little nerve can even be he althy. If we worry, then we have not become arrogant or complacent. This is the brain's way of telling us not to relax, not to take anything for granted. We have to be vigilant, careful and make efforts to make sure we are doing our best.
You'd be surprised how many people still worry. They may appear confident, but they most likely have the same nerves and insecurities inside as the rest of us. In a recent interview, the legendary singer Shirley Bassey admitted, “Now when I go on stage, I get even more nervous than before.” But that doesn't stop her from performing in front of thousands, even millions, of people on live TV shows.
I once coached an international rugby player - a member of the England team that won the World Cup in 2003. Known to be a super cool player, he was nervous to face even a small group of businessmen to give a speech to. But despite his nerves, he was determined to succeed as a public speaker.
And you know what? The more you engage in situations you fear, the more likely they will turn into pleasure for you. At some point you will forget your fear and practically feel winged, alive, freed from what you are doing. At one time, I too was afraid of public speaking. But with more experience I overcame my timidity. I stopped being afraid and loved public speaking.
Here's the lesson: the feeling of confidence comes after the action, not before it.
“Courage is fighting fear, mastering it, not the absence of fear.” Mark Twain
