Being a parent is not easy. In fact, it is one of the most difficult "professions" because the upbringing and values of the child are in the hands of the parent. It is a responsible and difficult task to take care of a small and fragile person and at the same time to give him the right direction in life.
Parents often get nervous. There are many reasons for this. But even in your greatest rage you must not say any of the following sentences:
Leave me alone
Whatever happened, this sentence should not come out of a parent's mouth. Children take adults' phrases much more literally. With such a sentence, you risk hurting the child, making him feel unwanted.
Instead, you can say, "I'm busy," or "Don't bother me now, because I have something to do, please." The tone and words you choose are extremely important.
Don't cry
Crying is the most primary way of communication and expression in children. From infancy, crying is the signal that suggests something is wrong with the child.
Simply saying she shouldn't cry is like saying "eat vegetables because it's good". Young children do not yet have social self-control built into their minds, and so such phrases are more confusing than instructive.
Instead, it is better to explain to the child why it is not worth crying than to simply command them.
“You can/know more than that!”
Such sentences instill insecurity and dissatisfaction with one's own successes and achievements. It would be better to praise what has been achieved so far and explain what would be nice to achieve more.
“You are so…”
Labelling works very hard on a child's psyche. Even if there is no outward manifestation, the child deeply experiences the label and subconsciously follows this pattern instead of trying to change.
This is a common mechanism that acts degradingly.
“You are so bad, naughty, shy, boisterous, stupid” are all absurd epithets to address the child. If you think this will motivate him to correct himself, know that it will have the opposite effect.
Why aren't you like your sister/brother?
Comparing children is harmful. Not only do you instill a sense of injustice, undervaluation, division and unhe althy competition, but you make the child feel less loved.
Avoid making the child, however naughty, feel neglected as a negative example in the family.
Just wait for your father to come home
Threats prevent the child from seeing parental love. If you scare the child with the severity of the other parent, you don't make him understand his mistake, but shudder at the moment of punishment.
Instilling fear in one parental figure causes awe in the child, not love and respect. Even if he obeys, it will be to escape punishment or reprimand, not because he has understood the importance of what you are asking of him.
“Well done my child!” and “Good girl/boy!”
What's wrong with praise? The purpose and when you submitted it. Giving indiscriminate praise prevents the child from evaluating what is important, what is essential, and what is really good in order to receive praise.
So spoiling often happens, not to mention more severe cases where children gain an unreasonably high self-esteem as adults, which prevents them not only from communicating without being hated, but also hinders career development.
