As parents we constantly have to teach our children manners, social norms of behaviorand etiquette But in nervous situations we ourselves often cross this etiquette that we so strictly teach our children. Where does the example go ? Is it possible to always be correct and fulfill all that we want our children to perceive?
How to deal with the nerve-wracking situations in which we want to sincerely shout out what's on the inside? Child-rearing experts and psychologists offer some solutions on how best to get out of such conflict situations.
Your mother or mother-in-law always criticizes your parenting methods
If you keep hearing phrases like “Why are you doing that?” or “You shouldn't…”, it's probably driving you nuts. When it comes to raising children, parents have the main task for it. And any external imposition of opinion is very annoying and even in overly daring cases - insulting. You feel attacked and underestimated as adults.
Most grandparents probably want to help you and feel obligated to advise you on how to proceed and almost always disagree with your methods. It is always so because of the difference in understandings and values of different generations.
Especially in front of children, it is not at all advisable to have arguments, especially in terms of upbringing. Thus, their idea of authority in the family and respect for elders is spoiled. So hold your breath, swallow for a moment and leave the situation alone for clarification.
Sometimes it's good to be calm and listen to what your mother or mother-in-law has to say. He may be right, and you may just be reacting too impulsively.
Your child's friend messes up too much when visiting or fights with your child
How to proceed in such a case without losing your temper? You can approach it politely by explaining to the troublemaker that there are certain rules in your house and while he is your guest you would like him to follow them. If his mother is there, the situation can be further complicated. But you can ask her to help you in a friendly tone.
Your child complains that another child whose parent you know is bullying them
First, before you get mad and act impulsively, don't confide in your child about the situation. Every mother trusts her own child – without a doubt! But it's good to contact the other child's parents and find out exactly what the problem is. Chances are the parents don't suspect there's a problem. The most important thing is that if there is systemic harassment, everything is done to stop it. Because both the victimized child and his bully will grow up with the wrong idea of acceptable social norms.
Listening is the best thing you can do at times like this. Assess the attitude of the other mother - from her reaction you will understand initially what her position is and whether she is inclined to help solve the problem. If you encounter resistance, immediately contact the administration of the school where the children are and ask for their assistance!
Your child asks permission to play with another child, but you don't like his parents at all
You as a parent have your instincts and they often lead you in the right direction. If you have bad feelings about this child's parents, you will probably also have concerns about the influence they will have on your child. But don't be too quick to ban and say “Ah, no! The parents of this child are… I forbid you to play with him!”.
Pedagogy specialists advise here again that your best friend should be restraint. Instead of exclaiming why you don't like this family and how you shouldn't have anything to do with such people, be polite. Suggest that the child invite the friend home or go together to have fun at some cultural event, such as a children's theater, cinema or amusement park.
If the company of this child's parents is unpleasant to you, suggest that they leave the child with you for a few hours and come pick him up after a while. This way you can keep the situation in your own hands if you are worried about their methods towards your child.