How to deal with childish stubbornness? This is a question that must have made more than one parent sweat. Emiliya Ilieva-Krainova, who was one of the speakers at the "Parenthood 2011" forum, gave her professional opinion on it. She is a trainer and workshop leader on nonviolent communication, communication ecology, empathy and emotional intelligence.
Stubbornness for both children and adults indicates that we want something that is very important and that we do not know how to express and get. If we want to really "deal with" and not just convince the child to do what we think is right, we need to explore what is the need behind the particular display of anger.
If a child doesn't want to wear his coat, say, doesn't he need to be involved in deciding what to go out with? Or he wants to feel his own power to make decisions (even against the parents' decisions).
Every manifestation of stubbornness is a definite "no", behind which some need is hidden, to which the child says a definite "yes". Our job is to discover it and look for the option in which both our needs as parents and those of our children are satisfied.
Looking forward to Emilia's full interview in which she explains why it's important to express our emotions correctly.
- Philosophical Questions of Parenting
- How to wean a child from whining
- Parents must be educators, psychologists and sexologists
Modern parents raise happy, not comfortable children